Astronomers
from NASA announced Wednesday the discovery of a planet that makes Earth look atrocious.
The space agency’s researchers explained to the media that they recently identified
planet, HD 904790 b. It makes Earth look silly in every possible way. The planet
has a larger size, perfect terrestrial surface, various and lush landforms, and
an amount of natural resources, all of which indicate that Earth is “a
festering pile of garbage in comparison.” (theonion) HD 904790 b has a broad ring
system that bests Saturn’s, zero tectonic plate activity, and more fresh water
in just one of its massive, unpolluted oceans than we have on our entire “worthless”
planet. NASA astronomers have calculated that it would take mankind approximately
300,000 years to reach this new planet in a space capsule, but universally
agreed that it was worth a shot rather than “spend another day on this stupid
lump of shit. (Censored)”
The
planet is being satirized by this article. The author ridicules Earth constantly
and refers to is as “a piece of shit”. It is humorous the way the author compares the new planet
to ours and then insults ours and quoting that other people are too embarrassed
because they thought Earth was amazing and now want to “kill themselves”.
Wow Vana, interesting topic you got here. I just wish you would use a little more detail when describing how far the planet is and if this is an actual planet rather than it just being imagined. If a planet like the one mentioned in your post is real, I would love to read more about it.
ReplyDeleteVana, I love this post. I love it. It perfectly makes fun of the fact that people are never satisfied with what they have. No matter how much the Earth has given us, no matter how much it has responded to our every beck and call, no matter how much we have abused and overused the resources we have, people would jump at the chance to leave it behind if another home came in sight that was better than our own. Beautiful choice, Vana. I love it.
ReplyDeleteAt first I had forgotten that the news article was supposed to be from The Onion and I was going to say how much space fascinates me. Anyways, I found your integration of quotes to be properly informative and nicely incorporated. I also found the topic of ridicule to be refreshing and a nice way of laughing at ourselves every once in a while.
ReplyDelete